this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
