Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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