my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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