heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
