After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
