Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize