I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
