Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
