Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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