...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Little spoons don't ask big questions
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
