just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
