I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You made out with two different species that night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
