You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.