Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.