you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
