Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Mom said you looked used
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
