The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
