another moral hangover. fuck.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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