Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This toilet bowl is my home.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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