I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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