I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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