Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize