Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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