Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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