yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
