The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize