My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize