It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my vag is so smooth its legendary
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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