Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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