No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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