help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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