how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
