I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
