How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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