he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
