guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
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Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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