I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
