What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize