Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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