I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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