so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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