Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
