Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
