they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
