You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i think i just lost a toe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
