I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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