oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
