Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
