she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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