Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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