we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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