Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
