I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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