nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
