is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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