you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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