i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
