...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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