Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
